The people in our life should be a source of reducing stress and enhancing euphoria to us, not one causing more of it. When we are discussing a relationship, most of them want to be in control of their partner. Because they consider it an expression of love, but in reality, no one wants to get repressed. A controlling woman tries to keep everything under control. They are dominating, repressive, and authoritarian in nature.
Who is a Controlling Woman In A Relationship?
I often get complaints from my male readers that I don’t compose much on men’s relationship problems. So, today my friends, the topic addresses all the men out there, as it is about the dominating female partners of you.
But this doesn’t imply that it is only for my male readers! Because I hope this will be a personality check-up for my female friends too. I hope you will love this post. Keep reading!
Are you feeling like servitude in your relationship?? Is your girlfriend constraining from meeting your friends? Or Are you feeling like you have become a controlling woman? Are you confused between the love and possessiveness of your girlfriend?
If any of the questions mentioned above are, in fact, your dilemma, I am confident then that this post will help you!
Why can Excessive Possessiveness harm a Relationship?
I have been in contact with a therapist for quite a long time. OH! Not for me, I am glad I am ok, and I am enjoying my healthy relationship. One of my friends, Andrew, was in a relationship with a controlling woman. And he had to talk to a therapist for a solution, and in this way, I met her.
While talking to the therapist, I learned many different traits of relationships. Once I asked her about being over-possessive in a relationship. She had a beautiful answer to my question.
According to a therapist, A bird is born free. If you show her care, give love, he will fall in love with you, but that doesn’t mean that the bird has left his freedom behind. The bird loves its release. It will love you until you let him enjoy its freedom. Once you cage the bird, you start abusing it.
Like the bird, every man and woman loves their freedom. They relish the care shown by their partner. But that doesn’t mean their partner needs to start controlling their life. One can never constrain love. One should always keep the faith and bits of patience in their partner.
Yes, it can harm the relationship. If you are the one who is controlling the partner, then you need some retrospection to do. You not leaving the desire to control your partner will have tremendous outcomes. Like- having constant conflicts in the relationship all along. In the worst case, it might even cause a break-up.
Let’s say you can’t decide your girlfriend is a controlling one. You need to go through the next segment of the post.
Signs and Behavior of a Controlling Woman
Every woman has distinct characteristics. Some are kind, emotional, stubborn, reckless so on. But some women depict possessiveness.
Controlling behavior purports to bear the continuous urge to control everything in life. Which ensures that whatever is happening should go as they have imagined.
An individual with controlling nature has a specific concocted strategy. A strategy on how they will make the opposite person obey whatever they have planned. It becomes challenging for the partner to go along, and in the end, conflict happens.
One thing you should keep in mind, controlling behavior is a sort of disorder. This is not an acquired disorder. People call the disorder Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder(OCPD).
We will talk about it in the next segment. Let’s have a look at the sign that tells us about the controlling behavior of the women.
1. She isolates you from your family and friends.
When you spend time with your female friend and family, she might start complaining about it. She does that because she wants you to become alone and vulnerable. And when you don’t have any support around you, they get a super chance to control your lifestyle.
2. Criticizing is their common nature.
No matter how much you try to please her, she will always find something negative in it. Don’t take it otherwise, but criticizing is good but to a specific limit. For controlling women, charging is a very robust medium of manipulation. It makes the partner feel unaccepted and undervalued.
If you notice that your girl is criticizing you for every little thing, consider it abnormal thus. This can create a considerable gap and destroy relationships.
3. Threaten you if you disagree about changing your behavior.
Threatening is a kind of blackmailing. People consider threatening as one of the powerful weapons of controlling other’s behavior. She will blackmail you by threatening that if you leave her, she will kill herself. In short, it is a double-edged sword. Threatening accompanies emotional manipulation like playing victims, tears, etc.
4. Using guilt as a weapon to manipulate you.
When anything negative emanates in both of your lives, she sentences you guilty. She addresses you as guilty for every minor and major incident without any evidence. An over-possessive woman exhibits this type of behavior. It constrains you and makes you feel guilty.
What are the Causes of Controlling Behavior?
We often ignore our emotional crisis. The truth is that we ignore our emotional turmoil in the past. This arises as a significant problem in the future. Someone with a strong personality contains some emotional turmoil lurking in the past.
And women are no different. As I mentioned above, controlling behavior is a sign of OCPD. There are some more reasons listed below that make a woman controlling.
- Every controlling woman has insecurity issues.
When a man or a woman starts feeling insecure, they feel most vulnerable. And no one likes this feeling of insecurity. So they start suppressing someone else.
- Media may have Brainwashed with Feminism.
In such circumstances, media, social media platforms play an essential role in brainwashing. In recent times, the media are working for women’s empowerment.
Encouraging them to fight and stand against all the negative traits of men. Well, it’s always good to stand for your equal right and pay equal rights. But constant campaigning against men can affect a woman’s subconscious mind.
- Her Mother Was A Controlling Person.
When children grow, they follow their parents and embrace their nature. Hence they assume that their parent’s behavior is expected. This has immense consequences for how the girl will behave in future relationships.
Suppose, a girl grows up observing her mother dominating other family members. It is quite natural then, that she absorbs it as normal behavior. It affects the subconscious mind of a girl, hence she turns into a dominating girlfriend.
How to handle a Controlling Woman?
Generally, people will guide you to fight fire with fire. But trust me, this is not the best advice for your problem. Fighting fire with fire will make the circumstances worse. This thing goes with controlling women.
If you will try to handle a controlling woman by dominating her, there will be a backlash. You will only surpass the underlying cause that has made her a dominating person.
It will either break her, making the situation worse, or else she will opt for an option whom she can manipulate.
You have to find a neutralizing option. One that can take out your girl from such an emotional turmoil. Furthermore without affecting your relationship. This neutralizing process includes talking therapy.
As per my advice, you can meet a therapist, and ask for help, like my friend Andrew. This will help your girlfriend to come out of such an annoying shell.
Dating a Controlling Woman? Do’s & Don’ts
Yes, you can date a controlling woman.
Controlling women doesn’t mean that they are not eligible for dating. Every woman irrespective of being kind, reckless, stubborn, or controlling, deserves utmost love.
If you fall in love with a dominating girl, you only have to maintain patience. Try to comprehend what is lurking in her past that has made her like this.
Talking about Do’s and Don’ts they are simple and normal when compared to normal relations.
- The foremost thing is to keep your patience and try to get the truth out of her.
- Don’t ever try to control Her, it will make your relationship complicated.
- Try to make your girlfriend feel that she is not alone, you love her and there is nothing to be insecure about.
- Keep your calm and talk to her about the same. Tell her how this dominating thing is destroying your relationships.
When everything is within the limit, everything is fine. But once it’s over the bridge, then there must be some reason behind it.
Controlling behavior can be a disorder or can have something bitter lurking behind it. But that doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Forbearance with them is the only key and offer your love, they are bound to change. But once it gets abusive, it is always better to move on from such relations.