Sometimes the line between a healthy relationship and a toxic relationship is very thin. Little issues are more than enough to turn a graceful relationship into a toxic one. As humans, we look for love and companionship and hence we establish relationships. Love is a prized possession to have. But what will you do when someone’s love for you turns toxic for your mental health? While beautiful relationships add value to your life, toxic relationships hinder your inner peace. So, it is crucial to read the signs of a toxic relationship early.
What is a Toxic Relationship? Its Effects & Traits
Toxic is a very negative word and should we apply it to love and relationships? Yes, it is relevant to do so because sometimes relationships can be full of negativity. A toxic relationship is the one that makes you feel exhausted, insecure, misunderstood all the time, and disrespected. Relationships become toxic when love becomes an obsession.
Effects of Toxic Relationship:
This obsession of the other person then starts consuming your inner peace and exposes to you the ugly side of love.
A relationship usually turns toxic when understanding issues start prevailing between two people. Or it can also happen when the feeling of possessiveness in love turns into a feeling of insecurities.
Insecurities incur a lot of damage to any relationship. While you make tough choices in love, love should give you a feel-good factor. But in toxic relationships, it is completely different as you start to feel strangulated in the name of love. Like some foods do not suit your gut, even some relationships do not suit your happiness.
Traits of a Toxic Relationship:
The purpose of love is to find happiness in it but would you need that love if it only makes you cry? A toxic relationship is nothing more than a dead rubber and you must learn to let it go.
Furthermore, toxic relationships are usually disrespectful, disloyal, and abusive. Even the tiniest of misunderstandings can bring big damage to a relationship. But the truth is that life goes on and you must realize that. To safeguard your inner peace and mental stability, you mustn’t have any toxic relationships in your life.
10 Signs of a Toxic Relationship
The obvious question comes to my mind How to identify if your relationship has turned toxic? Here are the signs of a Toxic Relationship.
Sometimes it is hard to differentiate a toxic relationship from a smooth relationship. There is a possibility that you might be in a toxic relationship and you don’t even know about it. How can you identify if your relationship is toxic or not? Well, some indicators can help you find out the same. Let’s see what these signs look like.
Honesty and loyalty are the basis of every relationship. Any relationship that deviates from honesty is only turning toxic. You are very much in a toxic relationship if you’re partner lies to you often. It is tangled even if he or she does not tell you the complete truth.
A healthy relationship is one that is transparent at all levels and inspires in each other the confidence to share everything. So, dishonesty is the first sign of a relationship turning toxic. This is what will further translate into other toxic traits within the bond.
If you’re stressing too much about your relationship on daily basis, then there is something wrong. You would not have to stress about a relationship that is doing fine. When your relationship feels like a constant struggle, it has rather turned toxic. You have to apply your efforts to make such a relationship survive. This indeed is a toxic sign for a relationship.
When your partner starts disrespecting you on purpose, it can be signs of a toxic relationship. We may disrespect each other unintentionally in a relationship sometimes. But doing that intentionally and making it a habit is disastrous. This is the highest form of toxicity in any relationship. Love and respect both go hand in hand and if you’re losing respect in a relationship, you need to rethink.
One of the most common signs of a destructive relationship is the feeling of insecurity. This insecurity grows larger with each passing day. This is a sign of a noxious relationship because here your partner is obsessing over you. Furthermore, when your partner becomes insecure about you or the relationship, he or she will cut into your space.
Every time you meet your friends or hang out with someone else, your insecure partner will create issues, fight you, and threaten you. All these habits are attributes of a strained relationship. Insecurities and jealousy go hand in hand. There is a thin line between possessiveness and insecurities. While the former is positive, the latter is a very negative trend in a relationship.
Absence of Self-care
Are you getting enough time in your relationship to care for yourself? If that is not the case and if you’re only tangled in sorting out the differences in your relationship then you’re in a noxious relationship. Toxic relationships are very consuming and exhausting and they don’t leave room for self-care. All you then care for is the other person, the other person’s mood, and so on.
A toxic relationship starts sucking your ‘me’ time! It is important for everyone that they care for themselves. But when personal life seems like a persistent struggle, there is no time left for self-care. So, are you also in this phase of only thinking about your relationships? In that case, you are dealing with a toxic bond.
Is your partner trying to overpower your existence and decisions? If your partner feels he or she owns you and your life decisions, it is a toxic precedent. Ideal relationships are far from overpowering and are based on mutual respect.
In a meaningful relationship, two people coexist without hampering each other’s existence. When one of the two partners starts controlling the other, it is a negative development. This negativity will consume you and you will start losing self-confidence and self-esteem.
Lovers don’t keep grudges against each other. When people genuinely want to be together, they sort their differences out. Remember, communication is the key to resolving all issues. Does your partner communicate his or her thoughts to you often? Do you feel your partner has developed certain grudges against you? If your partner is acting adamant about these grudges then these are signs of a negative relationship.
Toxic relationships are marked by constant conflicts. These conflicts will then occur even when they could have been easily avoided. Rather than finding reasons to spend quality time with each other, two people then find excuses to fight. The frequency of these conflicts increases with each passing day.
These conflicts push two people far away from each other. It doesn’t exist in a healthy relationship. But in a toxic relationship, there are differences in every small issue. Moreover, it may so happen that you or your partner doesn’t even want to solve these conflicts.
How smooth a relationship depends largely on how well two people communicate? In a relationship, communication is of utmost importance. With communication, you can get over insecurities and grudges that exist between you and your partner.
But what if your partner is not even willing to talk to you about those differences? What if your partner resents any meaningful discussions? What if your partners only want to talk about them and not you? All these precedents are strained relationships. Miscommunication is one of the major toxic relationship characteristics.
The violence of all forms and violence under any circumstance is toxic
If verbal and physical abuse becomes common features of a relationship, it is a very noxious relationship. Rare instances of verbal violence can still be accommodated but not the pattern of it. So, if a relationship is abusive and very likely to incite violence between two partners, it is one of the most toxic relationships ever.
So, above were some signs and traits of toxic relationships.
What to do in this situation?
Toxic relationships usually don’t have much room for tweaking. It is best in the interest of your mental peace and your self-respect that you walk out of such a relationship. The negativity of a toxic relationship is humongous and this negativity then starts radiating in every sphere of your life. There is little hope that a disloyal or an abusive partner will change for the better.
To keep hopes high here will only be a surreal act of idealism. There is no point holding on to a relationship that only makes you unhappy and puts you in self-doubt. The above scenarios are common examples of toxic relationships. The level of toxicity in a given relationship can vary. Moreover, not all toxic relationships can be mended, and hence we should avoid this.
How to get rid of a Toxic Relationship?
Are you looking to move out of a toxic relationship but struggling to find the right excuse? Well, trust me; you don’t need any excuses for that. You would never need any excuses to stand up for your happiness, dignity, and mental peace.
To leave a toxic relationship all that you need to do is being honest with the other person. You must tell the other person with courage and honesty that they did not value the chances given to them. You have to convey to them how this relationship makes you feel suffocated at all times.
Making excuses will only further complicate things. Ending on a good note may not be a thing when you end things abruptly. You must give the other person closure and at the same time make them realize their mistake.
Love although is not about giving up on each other easily, but when things have been toxic beyond your tolerance it is better to part ways. Companionship should not fade away from your happiness rather it should add value to your life and happiness.
10 Quotes on Toxic Relationships
“Sometimes it is better to shatter your heart than to see your self-esteem and pride shattered”
“A love that liberates you is what you need to hold on toA love that tries to control you needs to be given up on”
“Do not let someone be so important to you that they feel entitled to take away your peace and existence”.
“True love will make you fall in love with yourselfToxic love will make you doubt everything about yourself”
“You would always have the choice to set yourself free from toxic love.All you would need to do differently is to act with courage”
“Nothing is much more important than youNot even your bravest love story”
“Love has the charm to turn toxicity into flowersIf it remains toxic, maybe it was never loved”
“Possessiveness makes you feel warm in the coldInsecurities make you feel strangulated”
“If it seems like a struggle you’ve already given up onIt can only be called an obsession and not love”
“Keep toxic things at bay even if it is loveWhat is toxic will fill you with uncertainties and doubtWhat is toxic will make you hollow from insideWhat is toxic will make you hate your positive side”
To conclude, it can be understood that there are varying magnitudes of toxicity in relationships. Although every relationship is unique, the kind of toxic turbulence that exists in relationships is most common. The term toxic too is subjective in itself. What may be toxic for one person may not be toxic for the other person.
But eventually, it is about happiness, motivation, and inner peace. If a relationship doesn’t bring any of these to you or rather snatch these from you, it qualifies to be fall under the category of toxic relationships.
Moreover, breakups are hard but it is alright to let go of exhaustive relationships. While you do so, you don’t have to be pretentious and honestly convey your decision and reasons to the other person.
If you don’t make them realize what their shortcomings are, someone else might have to bear the same shortcomings. And you must realize that before falling in love with others, you have to learn to love yourself amply.