Whoever has fallen in love knows how beautiful the feeling is. A smile on the lover’s face, the tinkling voice of their laugh, and their warm touch are enough to fill one’s day with happiness.
Love is a gift of fate. It is like boarding a train without being aware of its destination. One does not choose the person with whom they fall in love. It is the sudden spark of destiny.
However, reading about the stories of love may make one feel like it is easy. Frankly speaking, it is not. Love is much more complicated and scary than it seems. The spark that lit the fire of love between two people can go out at any moment. All that remains after that is pain and despair.
In those helpless minutes, the broken heart of the person asks one question: can one ever stop loving someone? Do the feelings disappear, or a person adjusts himself to live with them?
It is indeed possible to move on. However, how long the process would take depends on the depth of the bond and the coping mechanisms followed by the subject. To begin the process, first of all, one needs to figure out why they haven’t stopped loving the person and work towards moving on accordingly.
Figuring Out Why One Has Not Stopped Loving
Falling in love is easy, staying in love is difficult but moving on is the real deal. There are infinite reasons for a relationship to end. However, it always comes down to one person who has fallen out of love and another still in love.
Thus, most of the time, the decision of ending the relationship is not mutual. In such situations, people keep asking themselves where things went wrong. The grief of an unexpected ending and the pain of letting go would put the person in a hard time-space. People would try to find a reason to believe that it was a misunderstanding, and the relationship would resume someday.
However, it never happens. Therefore, the best way to begin is to stop giving themselves hope. Instead, one should push himself to understand why one has not moved on. Why do they keep hurting themselves when they want to move on? Ask the question to the heart and wait for the answer.
Time heals Everything!
It is quite normal for people to assume that they would eventually fall out of love or move on with time.
While it is true for many people, some may not heal with time. Whether one moves on with time or not and how he deals with the emotions depends on the individual’s personality and the kind of relationship he was involved in. After all, love is not only related to memories but also related to sexual and passionate emotions.
Some people tend to think practically and move on over a short period. It also becomes easier when the relationship lasts for a significantly short duration.
Others who are pretty much bad at handling emotions find it difficult to let go. It is especially challenging for people who have to part after being together for a long time. Thinking about it, the ending of the first relationship is something most of us could not deal with.
Eventually, most people fall in love again, get into platonic relationships, and learn to be okay with the ending.
However, true love is not something that can be forgotten.
The memories stay fresh, and the marks of the scars never fade. They do pop up in the head at times, but the person learns to smile while remembering them. Time teaches people that. It lessens the pain and asks the person to bury the memories deep in the heart.
Time inspires people to move on in their lives.
How Can One Move On from a Relationship?
A common misconception attached to moving on is that it means forgetting the bygone eras of love. The fact is, moving on is not how people describe it. The concept of moving on means being okay to remember the end of a relationship.
A person who has moved on feels okay to acknowledge that he had fallen in love in the past. He cherishes the memories they created together and looks forward to building new ones with others.
Therefore, the first step to move on is to accept the truth of the situation. One has to agree that the person does not feel the same way he does. It might not make his feelings disappear but would ease the process. Give up on what is lost and rebuild what is still left helps a person to move on.
The next step is to be thankful for being given a chance to experience love. Whatever may be the reason for parting ways or however it may have happened, the truth is that you enjoyed the company of the person. Be thankful for the same.
Count the good things of the relationship, and the lessons you learned from it. Give the memories a corner of your heart, learn to accept them, and smile while remembering them.
At the same time, do not avoid painful feelings too. It is quite common for someone to get hurt when the relationship one has maintained; ends. Accept that they are natural and genuine. Avoiding feelings can complicate the situation further.
Most importantly, do not sit around the house gloomy and depressed. Spend time with your parents, friends, and colleagues. Share time with yourself. Watch movies, visit places, and do the things you love to do. Talk about the feelings with the people you trust. However, maintain distance from your partner. Avoid any contacts.
If things get worse, visit a therapist. They provide a non-judgmental space where one can share their emotions freely and talk about strategies.
Human emotions are not a collection of switches that can be turned off with a press. Thus one cannot expect that he can fall out of love suddenly. One has to accept that incidents happen. People come into our lives, some stay, some do not. It does not mean one has to forget the person who leaves.
When love ends, the people involved can not run away from it. Time does not fly the way it does in movies. Every morning one has to wake up to the realization that the relationship has ended. Thus, remember: acceptance is the first step towards moving on.
Moving on does not mean one has forgotten the love of the past. It means that one is brave enough to accept the truth and face it. The person has buried the tender feelings of his past in his heart. He makes sure that the emotions do not affect the future, present, or the beautiful memories of the past.