There’s no doubt that cheating is one of the worst things someone can do while being in a relationship. As we said earlier, cheating is always by choice and there are some things one can do after being cheated.
You might have ignored the signs and since you can’t go back and change what has happened, you can certainly look after yourself.
Gaining trust back in your own self and others can take a while and sometimes even years. Relationships may or may not bounce back from infidelity but you can always work on yourself. There are two ways in which one can start the trust-building process. The first one is with the partner if your relationship has been intense and if not, you can always move on.
While it’s hard work and takes a lot of willingness, rebuilding trust is an important factor to get your relationship on track and lead a happy, healthy, and stronger partnership. Here are some ways in which you can deal with it.
Here are some effective ways to rebuild trust after cheating and heal your relationship.
1. It's Okay To Take Time To Forgive
A lot of partners expect to be forgiven quickly but one should take as much time as needed. Trust will never be built overnight and it takes an immense amount of work. While this can become frustrating for the one who cheated, let the person take time as it needs to feel genuine and not rushed.
If forgiveness is given out of obligation or rush, it can lead to serious issues and insecurities Hence, let time heal things.
2. Trust Is About Both The Partners
Rebuilding trust after cheating is something that definitely needs to be worked on. If both the partners are ready to work on it without holding grudges, it’s a good start. For healing in a righteous manner, you will need to be extremely patient and while in the process, not give up, that is all.
3. Be Open & Transparent
Once the trust is broken after cheating, one thing that matters the most is, to be honest, and completely transparent. The one who gets betrayed experiences constant triggers due to the incident, which also leads to signs of PTSD(Post-traumatic Stress Disorder). The person who cheated can ease the pain by being open in the relationship.
How, you ask? Well, the steps would be a little advanced than usual. Passwords would need to be shared and it means you need to give full access to your partner, basically learn not to hide anything.
4. But, Don't Be A Helicopter Partner
While the liberty to check the phone has been given, that in no way means one goes nuts and constantly hovers over the emails and texts. Many couples, during this process, watch every move of their partner’s but this in the true sense only means that you aren’t ready to commit to the plan.
When you continue to constantly keep an eye on every move, it gives a hint that you certainly don’t trust them.
5. You Also Need To Trust Yourself
The basic rule and logic are that if you can’t trust yourself, you will never be able to trust anyone else. The constant fear and doubting yourself can lead to questions like is there anything you could have done to stop it? If yes, this is the exact moment you need to take a step back.
Understand that it’s not YOU, but the betrayer’s weakness that led to infidelity. And, when it comes to trust, you first need to start with yourself.
6. Accept Responsibility
For the choices you have made, never blame your partner for that. It is totally on you to be or end the relationship. Take action and responsibility. Blaming your partner for your doing is no good and this will only make it difficult to rebuild trust to survive the relationship.
7. Stay In The Present
After being cheated, there are high chances that you will be dwelling in the past and the times would keep taking you back to what happened. But, instead of pitying yourself start working on trusting your partner. Work on the present and the future instead of thinking about how to fix what happened.
8. Take Counselling
While this might seem a little outside of your comfort zone, taking therapy works really well, especially if you are trying to rebuild trust after going through a massive heartbreak in your relationship. Sometimes a third person’s perspective can help one figure out things better. At times when families and friends advise, they have a biased opinion about things but that is not the case with a counselor.
It is always good to know that someone is ready to listen to you, so you can work towards fixing yourself and your relationship. Take the next step!
9. Consider & Question Why You Did It
If you cheated on your partner, you need to think and consider and see why you did, what you did. Before even starting the process of rebuilding trust, seek all the reasons. It could be anything, either that you didn’t love your partner or already wanted to end it, or could be a mistake. Whatever the reason, understand your own behavior first.
10. Don't Blame It On Your Partner
Sometimes the easier way out of any situation is not being responsible for your own actions. This is the biggest blunder you can make. Accept your flaws and faults, before pointing a finger at your partner. Take responsibility and then work on rebuilding trust.
Gradually, if you both have decided to make this relationship work, you will have to eventually forgive as well. If you are willing to, anything is possible, that also includes regaining the trust of your partner. The only thing is it will take time and if both the people are patient, nothing is unachievable.