The fear of missing out (FOMO), you might have heard a lot about this term off lately. Distance in the relationship develops FOMO amongst most of us, and believe it, this is a critical mental disorder.
Long-distance relationships (LDR) are challenging. A lot of us are already trying to deal with it. You might not notice it in the initial phase, but with time the fondness becomes maddening. And this madness leads to depression and anxiety in any long-distance relationship.
According to a renowned relationship coach and founder of ‘Maze of Love,’ Chris Armstrong, the only key to make a long-distance relationship work is to believe in it.
Experts say the only reason behind the unsuccessful long-distance relationship is ‘skepticism’. You need to believe in your love, and both of you need to remind each other that you people need to make it work for your future.
Reasons behind Depression and Ways to deal with Them
Several reasons develop depression and anxiety in long-distance relationships. Different people have different approaches towards their relationship. If something bothers you in your long-distance relationship, others might not look at it as an issue. Therefore, you need to find your reason for depression.
However, below we shall discuss some of the most common reasons that give birth to depression and anxiety in long-distance relationships. Furthermore, we will also talk about the ways to come over it.
1. Lack of Communication
You are living away from each other for a reason. This reason could be your job, studies, or others. In any such situation, both of you can’t communicate all the time. For example, when one of you has a night shift at work, you fail to manage time to talk to each other.
The other circumstances may include a group study session at the time when your partner is willing to speak. So, the reasons could be many, resulting in a lack of communication.
Communication is the basis of all relationships. And in case you fail to communicate with your partner for quite a while, you might end up engaging in over-thinking. Probing on to a situation for long makes you anxious, and this causes severe hazards to your mental health.
Try This– Fix a time for each other. Be it a phone call conversation or a video chat, manage some time for it. You might not work out the same amount of time each day, but make sure to let the other person know what’s keeping you busy.
The feeling of loneliness is evident in long-distance relationships. For example, there are times when you see your friends hanging out with their partners, and you feel left out.
Or in situations when you watch a romantic movie, and you wish your partner was around. In such cases, you think too deep about your current situation. And the fact that there’s no one around you to comfort you makes you even more depressed.
When you agreed to be a part of a long-distance relationship, you already knew that you’re not going to meet each other every day. And this isn’t going to be easy, but you agreed to it for a reason. So make sure you boost yourself thinking about the good times you people have spent with each other.
Try This– In such a situation, spend time with other closed friends and family members. Make it a point to be around your pet or your best friend, for that matter. Love yourself and place your happiness in the first position. Suddenly you will start loving everything about your life.
3. Lack of physical intimacy
We all love cuddling nights and uninterrupted conversations. Physical intimacy is the stress buster in a relationship, which keeps you going even in the most challenging times. Long-distance relationships become a challenge because the most you could do is spend hours on a phone call or a skype call, for that matter.
Lack of physical intimacy can be frustrating, leading to anxiety and depression in a long-distance relationship. The only way to deal with it is to wait for the good times to come.
Try this: Fix a date and look upon it. In long-distance relationships, couples often look on to a specific date when they commit to meet. It would help if you also tried doing this.
Fix a meeting where you can spend quality time with each other, like planning for vacations that take away all your worries. Count the days, and let the excitement stay alive.
‘I am not able to check my partner’s phone.’ ‘I think he/she is not giving enough attention to me like it used to be.’ ‘Things have changed with time.’ ‘I don’t feel as important as it used to be.’ These are all signs of insecurities. Possessiveness or insecurity in a relationship kills it. It not only kills your relationship but also makes you mad.
Anxiety is an obvious outcome of insecurities. It is OK to be insecure sometimes, but you are not on the right track if this situation lasts unreasonably long. Watch out for the alarms, as you might have already started ruining your mental health.
Try This– Spend more time with your friends. Go on solo dates or even solo trips. Try rewarding yourself for all the great things you do. Prioritize your happiness and live carefreely.
There’s a constant uncertainty in a long-distance relationship. When you have waited for a specific person for so long, you believe you have a future with them. But at the same time, you doubt the other person’s intention. Therefore, you feel uncertain about your life and your decisions.
The fact that both of you do not meet each other quite often. You do not attend social gatherings with each other, and you also cannot plan your future in a definite way. Your mind is in a constant dilemma trying to figure out what next. And this leads to anxiety in life, which doesn’t even let you have a peaceful sleep.
Try This: Whenever you meet with your partner next, sit with them and talk about plans. Prepare a to-do list for both of you, and start a discussion on the same. If you have something else to mention, make sure your partner listens to what’s going on in your mind.
The feeling to talk freely and open out in front of a partner brings a different level of satisfaction. You feel more secure and sure about your plans with your partner.
Besides this, you can help each other deal with long-distance relationship depression and anxiety with small gestures. Love has no boundaries, and loving each other from miles away is no big deal with the evolution of everything around us.
If you feel your partner is getting anxious or failing to keep the spirit up, you can choose a few quick and easy methods to make their day special. Take ideas below;
- Surprise your loved one in their workplace by sending a bunch of flowers for no reason.
- Send them their favorite gifts and remind them of your love.
- Find out your oldest memories and revive them through texting and talking about them in detail.
- Book a ticket and call your partner to meet you if you can’t manage to travel.
Even the smallest gestures can make significant differences. So you have to be thoughtful.