I know that you are still having a hard time forgetting your ex-wife. It’s completely understandable and I want to help you get over the pain so that you can move on with your life. Once we have identified what is causing this, it will be easier for me to provide some advice on how to forget your ex completely.
This blog post will share how to finally break free from your past relationship and live an independent life where you aren’t constantly distracted by thoughts of her.
Relationships are beautiful, whether it is your relationship with your mother, father, siblings, friends, or maybe a romantic one with your partner. And it is undoubtedly painful when such a heavenly bond breaks.
It is undoubtedly painful when our fairy tale fantasy comes to an end, and it hurts badly even more sometimes when it is our romantic relationship. If you are feeling sad, or if you are missing your ex-wife, it’s okay, it happens and there is nothing bad in that.
But, maybe you are constantly trying to move on or probably find answers to the question- “How To Forget Your Ex completely?”
There is no hard and fast rule to move on from your relationship or forget your Ex-girlfriend, neither is there any short route to achieve it. You have to work on it patiently, motivate yourself occasionally and validate your feelings and emotions.
It is very natural to feel hopeless and lonely in such situations, but nothing lasts forever, neither your happiness nor your sadness. Everything is uncertain, but your present situation is the only certain entity, and utilize that carefully.
Here are the 11 Effective Ways to Forget your Ex completely and move on in life.
1. Remember Sigmund Freud’s Motivation Theory
Our mind is majorly divided into the unconscious and conscious minds (though there are other subparts). So, whatever we are doing, perceiving, or interpreting is known to us and is a part of our consciousness (conscious mind). But, on the other hand, our unconscious mind plays the opposite role. It stores pieces of information that are unacceptable to us and are also unknown.
So, the famous psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud had put forward the repression theory, also commonly known as motivated forgetting. This theory explains that repression is a psychological defense mechanism of the mind to protect our mind from unpleasant and unwanted memories or incidents.
Suppose a person has some serious conflicts with another person. So, naturally afterward when this first-person is reminded of these conflicts or the second person, he or she will feel unpleasant. Now, our mind gradually suppresses the bad memories surrounding the conflict and the second person in the mind of the first person.
This suppression of unwanted memories involves pushing these bad memories into the unconscious mind so that those memories don’t easily hit our consciousness again. This eventually leads us to “forget” those memories. Technically it is not forgetting, rather suppressing. But as you know, we are not aware of the things in our unconscious mind, hence those bad memories will seem to vanish to us.
So, if the memories with your ex-wife seem to disturb you continuously, someday it will surely subside and creep into your unconsciousness.
2. Accept your emotions and feelings.
Some people fail to recognize or accept their feelings and emotions during this time. It happens with people who are used to suppressing their thoughts. This may sometimes occur as a result of their surroundings, individual personality, or gender biases.
In this situation, keep all the trivial biases aside and concentrate on your feelings and emotions, ask questions, and explore the answers. Once you recognize it, accept it. Acceptance is the major step towards your well-being. Even if the emotion is negative, accept it. Unless you accept it, you can’t work on it.
Things will turn out to be difficult while accepting in such situations, but don’t stop trying.
3. Don’t judge yourself.
We generally judge ourselves more than others do. I know, it is a “hard-to-digest pill” when it comes to accepting this fact. But you have to accept it and stop judging yourself, especially when you are going through such a vulnerable state of mind. The more you judge yourself, the more negative vibes you will get. This will cause you difficulties in accepting your true self and emotions.
So, stop judging yourself and start accepting yourself, even if it is a very difficult task. Start accepting even your darkest side, then only you can work on it. Embrace both the negatives and positives in yourself.
4. Don’t be harsh on yourself.
Don’t try to forget her forcibly. Just let your time flow, flow with the time. The more you will force yourself, the harsher you will be on yourself and that’s fatal for your mental health.
5. Conflicts of still loving her.
People often complain about loving their ex-partners, which is fine. There’s nothing wrong with love. Love is a heavenly gift, preserve it. One can be thinking that why am I trying to say such and what good can this fetch, right?
Firstly, you and your wife have spent a considerable amount of time together (I guess), and you both have made memories together. Or if she had been your girlfriend too previously then you find another baggage for the question- “ How to forget your ex-girlfriend completely?’. Which resembles that both of you have spent more memorable times together.
Now, you may think of the ways to get rid of that love and those sweet memories. But, is it necessary? Don’t force it on yourself.
Who knows, maybe that love and those memories will help you get rid of your negative thoughts, maybe it will help you get rid of the harsh feelings towards her. Maybe you will feel her within you as a constant companion. May it help you forgive her if she has made mistakes.
If you are still struggling with the thoughts of coming to good terms with your mind, you can sort out the conflicts between you both. Coming into good terms with her even after the separation, will help you restore your mental peace, and will probably make you feel indifferent to all these that are bothering you.
6. Take a break.
Sometimes we need a break from the monotony of our lives, to unburden ourselves and restart with rejuvenation. So can you. You can go out and spend more time with your friends, go out for a solo trip, visit new places, and do many more things that will fill your heart with satisfaction and peace.
7. Do the things that you love.
You might have hobbies or you might love doing something beyond your necessities, right? Even if it is out of practice and you have forgotten it, try to recollect those memories. Start it over. It can be-
- Reading books.
- Singing or dancing.
- Collecting stamps.
- Watching movies or listening to songs.
- Blogging or Vlogging
It can even be more than what I have mentioned here. Even if you have no hobbies or anything that you love, start experimenting with such new things and notice the area of your interest. Maybe that will help you cultivate your new hobbies and positively change your life.
8. Try to create new habits.
Sometimes this vulnerable incident might add more to the boredom of your daily routine. In that case, try to bring some change. This will help you explore new habits, new things, and explore those undiscovered sides of yourself. All these will help you get so engaged that you will barely find time to think of negativities.
9. Make new friends.
This is a great time for you to explore yourself, give more time and effort to build yourself, and focus on your well-being completely. It is also a good time to make new friends and extend your network of associations. Interact with more people, at least so that you have enough people to stand by you when you feel left alone.
10. Express your emotions wholeheartedly.
Our society mostly runs on age-old stereotypes and patriarchy. This has eventually resulted in some fixed societal standards of gender roles and toxic masculinity. The real-life examples are never-ending. The same happens with expressing emotions and feelings.
Men are conditioned with the expression of anger and toughness while women are conditioned with the expression of vulnerable emotions like sadness and timidness which includes crying.
Come out of that social trap. Express all your emotions. Even if you feel like crying, do it, don’t suppress it. Suppressing emotions hurt. Crying is often looked down on as a weakness, but it is. It is just another expression of emotion and a normal bodily function. We as human beings, irrespective of gender, have equal rights.
11. Welcome that special someone!
You might have naturally thought that I am talking about a new partner, right? But, why can it not be a pet? If you already have one, you are blessed, but if you don’t have one, get one or as many as you can take care of fully.
They are the most loyal and sweet creatures. They will never leave your hand. Rely on them, spend time with them and you will notice the difference. While, amidst all these, if you ever find someone else more suitable for you, don’t hesitate to start over again, don’t hesitate to love again if you fall in love.
It is not that late, you can start again afresh. Life will bring you a lot of opportunities, try to explore them. There is not a single day when we don’t remember our ex-girlfriend or wife. Whether it’s the song playing on the radio, a commercial of her favorite movie, or a Facebook post from someone who is happily in love with them.
It’s so easy to get caught up in this daily dilemma that they are out there living life without us and being successful at it. But you can forget your ex completely and all it takes is one small change to turn off the thought track and stop thinking about them ever again.