There was a time when couples got married, women would be at home, taking care of the family and managing household chores. As time passed, the stereotypical, biased opinions of the society, eased a little. Women then started working and it became a team effort of both men and women to take care of the family and their homes.
Cut to today’s time, there is a massive transformation to this concept. Women like to work, be independent and find themselves confident when they don’t have to rely on their husbands completely, even if it means financially.
But, life is not hunky-dory all the time. Sometimes it is not the society, but the choices we make. After marriage, due to several responsibilities piled on both genders, it can be difficult to manage everything.
In your wife’s case, if she has been on a sabbatical for the longest time and often complains of going back to work but doesn’t have the courage to do so, this is your time to help bring out the best in your partner.
The situation is delicate and will have to be managed well. There are ten simple ways in which you can make your partner feel motivated and release them from thinking about the so-called extra responsibilities.
Take a look.
1. Pay Attention To What They Like
We all have different dreams and aspirations and so does your spouse. There could be so many things that could be tugging at your partner’s heartstrings. This is your time to talk it out with them and learn about what they would like to do. Find it out and don’t try to grill your partner. Be easy-going, as you don’t want it to sound offensive.
2. Check On Your Wife's Progress
If your wife hasn’t gone to work for a long time and still talks about the projects or a new venture, she wishes to start, it’s time you gave it some attention. Sometimes people tend to feel blocked, because of which they are terrified to approach their passion. Be the dealbreaker here and show them you are interested to know more about it. This will inspire your partner since you are being a good listener and giving a helping hand.
3. Consider Their Emotions
There could be multiple reasons as to why your wife may not feel like getting back to work. But it is important that you address it and see how your partner feels about it. Sometimes, it can be sheer boredom or that feeling of depression. It can also be image issues or lack of confidence. It can also be guilt of heading to work while having kids at home.
No matter how your partner feels about it, it is important that you talk about it. See where you can give a helping hand, that will make it easy for your partner to take the decision. The point here is to make things a little flexible.
4. Don't Gloss Over Your Partner's Pain
There will be times when you might lose patience, but this is no time to wave them off. In no way you should sympathize or pity your partner, but try to strike a balance here. Learn to appreciate their concern and acknowledge the problem. The words and statements you give, matter the most. The sort of encouragement that comes from you will help your partner eventually let go of the fear.
5. Check Your Finances
Once you have figured a way to converse with your partner and made them feel better with your words, then is time to also talk about finances. Since managing a house is teamwork, you can discuss money.
Find a suitable time to sit with your partner, and jot down your monthly expenses. Include everything in this, right from transportation to everyday expenses. Talk about savings and how if your wife goes back to work, it will help ease a little burden from you as well. Talking about long-term goals in an encouraging manner will help your wife understand the family needs.
6. Help With Household Chores If You Don't
If she has been managing the house on her own, throughout the time, it is time for you to step in and try helping her out. When you show that you can equally take up the responsibilities she has, it will make the task easier and she would feel encouraged to go back to work.
You can both plan out a schedule, in case you have children. Offer to take some responsibilities away from her. You can do that by doing the dishes, or helping with cooking meals. Ask her what’s stopping her to take the next step and see where you can help her out. She would deny your help but don’t stop pursuing her and give her a chance to open up. Eventually divide the housework and you will see the difference.
7. Talk About Your Burden As Well
Being the sole bread earner of your family can become a big burden for you as well. If you are responsible for every income, it’s time to have a conversation with your wife about it. The way you help with household work, your wife could help by taking up a job she is interested in.
This can help alleviate a lot of stress. While you may not be feeling to express your fears, give her a chance to encourage you as well. When you are honest, she would appreciate it, rather than making you feel more dejected.
8. Talk About Her Last Job
There must have been a big reason as to why your wife decided to take a sabbatical or quit her job entirely. The last thing you want to do is encourage your partner, to take up the work she doesn’t enjoy.
Be open and talk about your partner’s work and notice what she genuinely is interested in. Once she has opened up about it, encourage her to build a network and find relevant people in the industry she is interested in. If need be, help your partner build a new resume and invigorate her that one bad job isn’t the end of the world.
9. Be There For Her
Going back to work is not an easy journey. If your wife was doing great financially in her previous jobs, settling for a low-paying job can be difficult to cope with. Be willing to grant your emotional support in such cases. People often lose their confidence, after they have been on a long sabbatical. Be supportive and remind your partner about their dreams and strengths.
10. Celebrate Their Success
Once she is finally motivated and has at least begun her search or say has got a job, don’t forget to celebrate. When you celebrate little victories, it helps create a motivating environment, which is just what your wife needs right now.
When you step up as a husband and encourage your wife to go back to work, it shows that you are a good man. Constant efforts in your marriage will go a long way and eventually the teamwork, will start paying off.