How To Save Your Marriage When You Feel Hopeless?
You are not alone. At least 1 million couples a year get divorced in the US, and most of those marriages fail because one or both partners felt they had no choice but to call it quits. It’s normal for people to feel like their marriage is hopeless at times, but there are ways you can work through that feeling and save your marriage from ending.
Are things not OKAY in your marriage? Are you feeling burdened with fear of losing your partner? You feel hopeless and looking for ways to Save Your Marriage? Are you constantly trying to fix things but are feeling out of the track, every time a conflict arises?
If these are the questions that keep on disturbing you mentally and have significant effects on your physical health too, then you are at the right place. Currently, if you are going through a lot of stress and anxiety, take a deep breath, exhale out slowly, and keep reading!
Here are some probable solutions to save your marriage.
20 Motivating Ways to Save Your Marriage
1. You are Not alone
It’s important to remember that you are not alone in this struggle. Couples often face struggles in their relationships. Sometimes it’s a misunderstanding, sometimes it is a lack of communication, and other times one partner may be struggling with chronic illness or addiction.
But no matter what the problem is, you are not alone. There are many couples that need support from others to survive difficult times and learn how to overcome them together. So you are not alone in this race to save your marriage.
2. Self-Care
Practice self-care by taking time for yourself, whether it’s a walk or a bubble bath.
- Make time for yourself
- Take care of your mental health
- Get enough sleep
- Eat healthy food and drink plenty of water
- Exercise regularly
- Spend time with friends and family members
3. Compromise
Be willing to compromise and earn trust and respect of your better half. This always works for couples. Here are some tips
- If one of you wants the TV off while the other wants it on, find another way to make both of you happy (e.g., watch different shows).
- When you’re in a disagreement, try to see the other person’s point of view
- Make sure that both people are on board with any decisions made together
- Try not to be too stubborn about your own opinions and beliefs
- If one person is more dominant than the other, it may help to have an even split between who does what around the house or when making decisions for the family
- It can also help if you don’t take things personally – remember that this is just marriage and not life or death
- Be willing to compromise on some things so that both partners feel like they’ve won something in their disagreements
4. Never Give Up
Remember that there will always be ups and downs in any relationship but don’t give up! This is going to keep you alive in the effort to try and save your marriage.
- It’s okay to be mad at your partner sometimes, but don’t let anger control you
- Be open and honest about how you feel – it will make things easier in the long run
- Don’t take out your frustrations on each other or others around you
- Take a break from each other when needed – give yourselves some time to cool off and think about what went wrong so that you can work together to fix it
- Remember that love is worth fighting for! You’re not alone in this journey of life, and there are people who care about both of you who want nothing more than for the two of you to be happy together again
Related- Divorce Advice for Men
5. It’s OKAY to feel like this
Firstly, you have to accept that you are feeling hopeless, your feelings are valid, and it is OKAY to feel this way at times. Know that-
- Ups and downs are parts of life, and so in the case of marriage
- You can engage in activities to feel calm, and think wisely.
6. Fix yourself first
Unless you fix yourself, how can you fix your partner or your relationship? Concentrating on self-love and self-care during such a time of crisis should be your first concern. That doesn’t mean selfishness. That means self-awareness.
You might find people ridiculing you for prioritizing yourself and your mental health. In that case, try to ignore their useless words at any cost. After all, it’s you, your partner, and both of your relationships.
They won’t come to fix your problems, neither will they understand you. So, remember to stand by yourself and hold your hands tightly, even if the whole world stands against you.
7. Ask yourself.
People in such situations tend to lose their ability to analyze their current state of mind. This often confuses. In such cases-
- Try to give yourself the time to calm down
- Do not rush to conclusions.
- Channelize your thoughts and ask yourself questions.
8. Better Communication with your Spouse
- Be more mindful of your tone when you speak to them
- Don’t interrupt them or talk over them
- Listen to what they have to say and try not to judge their opinions
- Ask questions about the things that are important for you, instead of assuming you know what they’re thinking
- Put yourself in their shoes – think about how it would feel if someone spoke to you like that
- Try not to take every little thing personally – remember that everyone has bad days sometimes, including your spouse
9. Control your Emotions
Some people tend to act aggressively in the heat of the moment, while some tend to act too submissive. These extreme emotions might have negative impacts on your marriage and the relationship between you and your partner. In such situations, try to balance between the two extremities.
10. Apologize for your mistakes
Don’t let ego come in between your mistakes and your apologies. If you have done any mistake or anything wrong (intentionally or unintentionally), immediately do your part of apologizing. There’s nothing shameful in that. People always make mistakes, genuine people realize that and learn from it, not to repeat it.
Related- Divorce Advice for Women
11. Fix Things
The mistakes might not always be replaced by an apology, you have to work on the remedies. Either you can figure it out yourself, or you can ask your partner what you should do to make it up. Don’t be harsh with your words, have compassion mixed with it.
12. Have compassion and empathy.
While talking to your partner about the issues that are bothering you both, try to be gentle and empathetic. If you are holding any grudges against him/her, try to put them away for a few minutes. Imagine yourself in his/her shows. Maybe your shoes are not the only one that’s pricking.
This will help you be empathetic, instead of being sympathetic. Empathy helps to understand the other person better. Better understanding, better will be the ways of finding a solution.
13. Do not play the blame game.
It is not the perfect time for blaming each other. You and your partner should understand this first. Even if the problem arose because of either of you, for that moment consider it to be a problem that arose because of indifferent situations. You can better blame the situation instead of blaming each other.
14. Bring back the nostalgia.
You both possibly have a handful of sweet memories, or happy moments framed together. During the discussion, if you feel any kind of bad vibes coming, for that moment, instantly shift the vibe to nostalgia. Bring back those sweet memories or those frames to lighten up the heaviness of the environment.
This is a very helpful way to take a small break from all the negativities built up between you two. After you both are done with all these, get back to the discussion and solutions. Trust me, this time you will feel the difference. This time you can find some hope.
15. Express your emotions now.
If at all while the conversion goes on, you feel the urge to hug your person and cry out loud, do it. And if you feel like laughing or smiling, do it. If something has hurt you, say it too. But don’t hurt the person. Remember that you both are fighting against the problems, not against each other.
This will get both of you closer. There will be possibilities of mending the wounds of the bond between you two. Also, give him the space to show his emotions. It will eventually help him get back the trust or faith in you.
16. Look for solutions.
During the conversation, make sure that both of you are working towards finding a solution. Don’t trigger each other with offensive words. Be gentle with each other. Don’t bring up the insecurities at that moment that gaslights the entire negativity. Ask for each other’s suggestions and have mutual respect for them. Again, don’t let ego interfere between both of you.
17. Talk about adjustments instead of sacrifices.
In a relationship, adjustments are mutual, sacrifices are one-sided. Since a relationship is mutual, so should the efforts be. When you both are looking for solutions, make sure it is mutual and it’s not a one-sided sacrifice, else it would create dissatisfaction and discomfort.
18. Don’t play the “I did that for you” game.
If you did something out of love and respect for your partner and your marriage, don’t boast about it. It creates a negative impression. Even if it’s not out of love and respect, try to avoid mentioning it now.
19. Be hopeful
I hope now you have enough reasons to be hopeful, right? Properly analyze your thoughts now. You will feel the difference. Even if it’s not completely okay, it will be better than before, ain’t it?
20. Seek Professional Help
Seek out professional help if necessary – therapy can provide valuable insight into your marriage and teach skills that will help strengthen your bond together as well as improve communication between the two of you.
Bottom Line:
No matter what the outcome will be, it’s not entirely in your hands. You did your part and pat yourself on your back for that. Since you can’t control others’ actions, so blaming yourself for that will be pointless. Feel proud of what you have done, with your courage. Feel proud of taking the initiative. Try not to keep expectations, but keep up the hope. Also, feel grateful that you found the answers to your questions.
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