Couples fall in love and the next step to make their love official is getting married. In today’s time though, things have fast-paced a little and the truth is, divorces have become a matter of joke. No one in the relationship is ready to adjust or compromise and this leads to the couple getting separated sooner than later.
But, if you take a look at three generations behind, couples grow so complacent together that they can’t take a massive step like divorce, but gradually grow apart. Despite being married for so many years and knowing each other’s nuances, staying happy together is the last option.
Older couples growing apart is quite a common notion. The following are some reasons as to why couples have a fallout, despite being in wedlock for years. These are some signs and some possible ways to avoid it.
1. Falling Out Of Love
Couples after spending so much time with all the family members, tend to lose time on their partnership. This eventually makes them grow apart. With responsibilities and so many challenges, couples find a way to accept the differences and the love deteriorates, eventually making them grow apart.
When you have spent so much time together, try to find the reasons as to how you were able to manage all this while. Find time for each other, as there’s no age to spending time together. Go for dates or take a vacation and see if you can still work out the relationship.
2. Unresolved Issues
There can also be some unresolved battles of the past, that were not catered to but due to the age factor, it starts resurfacing. If this is an issue, you as a couple are facing, it can lead to a fallout. Couples usually learn to live with it or tend to fake it in front of their kids. Issues like infidelity, bad fights, illness, etc can come back during such times.
The only solution here is to learn to live in the now, instead of dwelling in what happened years ago. The time that’s lost cannot come back but what you have right now is what you can make worth it. So if you are willing to work past it, communicate with your partner, and speak positively. When you do so, you’ll be able to come up with better solutions.
With old age, also comes a luxurious life of sitting at home and earning the pension but even that can take a toll on the relationship. If a couple has spent a lot of time building their career and home, it can be a death knell to the marriage. Because the couple ends up spending too much time with each other, they eventually grow apart.
Don’t think of you two as one entity and have a life for yourself as well. It is okay to disassociate with the partner and when you do things for yourself, you will feel better and not be under the burden of anyone. Go for walks or take up a hobby, which you weren’t able to due to work or any sort of pressure. This will give you ample time for yourself, whilst also open the doors for sharing the experience with your other half.
4. Old-Fashioned Thinking
Older couples usually have a very orthodox concept of things. Chances are one of them evolves with changing times, while the other one remains stuck with their rigid notions. This can lead to differences and it might get difficult to remain in sync with the partner.
The fix here is to meet in the middle. Sometimes it is the way we are conditioned and not everyone is made to change. People have morals and that’s absolutely okay, In that case, find a middle ground and talk it out if the issues are major. If not, you can let go.
5. Kids Leaving Home
There’s no doubt that when kids grow up they want an independent life and to do that, they eventually leave their house. The place that was once very lively suddenly becomes dull. This can be difficult for the old-age partners as the house becomes an empty nest. When the two are left alone with each other, there can be incompatibility issues, and eventually, the couple drifts apart. This factor contributes to old couples getting divorced.
Acceptance is the only thing that can help you survive the time. Now that technology has advanced, you can always keep in touch with your kids. It’s true that you might not get enough time, but know that your kids are safe and doing well for themselves. Be a proud parent. Apart from that, work on yourself. As we mentioned earlier, find ways to keep yourself busy with other things. Make new friends, do gardening, go for walks. Nothing is stopping you!
6. Less Stigma To Divorce
Divorce may be a common thing in today’s time as people are less tolerant most of things. That’s not the case with older couples, rather partners who have been together for over 40 years, will not take such a huge step due to religious norms or beliefs, fear of being alone or societal shunning. This is also one of the reasons why older couples grow apart. They stay together but find no companionship in each other anymore.
It is easy to let go but when such issues arise, always think of the difficult times you faced in the past and how both of you worked towards it. It may not be easy but give it a shot before giving up on each other.
7. Not Enough In Common
As humans evolve, our preferences change. If you don’t have common things or similar interests anymore, couples also don’t talk about it and within no time, they fall apart.
Not having similar interests is absolutely okay. In fact, it is one of those things, which make the communication between the two even better, since you’ll have more things to communicate with instead of focusing on a similar interest.
All relationships stand the test of time. Some end up drifting apart completely while others stick by each other no matter what. But, the bond can still be reworked, and if the issues are not big, you can always bring your marriage back on track. We hope that this article bestows you with enough confidence in your partnership!